Mary Lee Shalvoy

Mary Pols held the launch party for her book Accidentally on Purpose at Books Inc. on Park Street.

Book Review

You might want to hate Mary Pols, Alameda mom and author of the memoir Accidentally on Purpose: A One-Night Stand, My Unplanned Parenthood, and Loving the Best Mistake I Ever Made (HarperCollins, 2008), like I did.

From my perspective, the gods of the Writers' Universe have been very good to Pols.

She's a local (she even lives in my neighborhood) who got a book deal with a reputable publishing house, after both a successful career as a film critic for the Contra Costa Times and a writing fellowship at Stanford. (Please kill me now.)

Pols even managed to find a topic that no one else, except for the inimitable Anne Lamott with her book Operating Instructions, had yet to tackle in non-fiction — choosing single motherhood by keeping her baby from an unplanned pregnancy.

Then I met Mary Pols and read her book, and though I am still a bit jealous, I can't really hate her. For in Accidentally on Purpose, Pols' book takes the reader on a journey from the day that leads to a one-night stand, through the discovery of her pregnancy, the birth of her precious son, and some additional life-altering events without a hint of hubris.

In fact, she writes about her life, like the one night of the aforementioned stand, her failed attempts at love, her struggles in the relationship with her baby son's father, and her parents' aging, in such detail and with such candor and intimacy that you have a tendency, as one reviewer said, to "wince."

More than once, I closed my copy of the book with that feeling that I was peeking into someone's diary.

But these are the elements that make for excellent writing and a darn good memoir.

"I don't think a memoir is really worth doing if you're not going to be completely honest," said Pols.

Especially uncomfortable for me was reading about her relationship with the baby's father.

Pols had difficulty with the situation, too, but a year out from finishing the book she is "just grateful for how good and kind he is and how much he loves his son."

In the book, while Pols describes her life's events, she also comes to a few important epiphanies about working through whatever happens in your life and letting go of long-harbored expectations.

"It's about finding happiness in an unexpected place," explained Pols and, in addition to the book deal, the beautiful boy and an excellent father for him, "I found peace."

We all could be a little jealous of Pols, but maybe a little grateful, too.

She has shown us how to take the lemons of life that grow from the bad decisions that we make, and turn them into sweet lemonade.

Mary Lee Shalvoy is an Alameda writer.