Rentals — Retelling a Tale for the Ages

Rentals — Retelling a Tale for the Ages

 
I respectfully submit to you an interactive letter for consideration in your next edition. It’s multiple choice and there’s no wrong answer.
 
Once upon a time in
(a) Alameda
(b) Edwardian England
(c) medieval France
 
there was a
(a) tenant
(b) peasant
(c) renter
 
who lived in property owned by a
(a) lord of the manor
(b) lady of the manor
(c) landord
(d) landlady
 
(From here forward, let’s just refer to them as “tenant” and “lord.”) This lord owned many properties, lived in one and rented the others. He did not want to
(a) sell
(b) sell
(c) sell
any rentals because that would have required him to
(a) have less income
(b) live less lord-ily
(c) allow someone else the
opportunity to own a home
and he got there first, so first-
come, first-served — what’s
your problem?
 
The lord maintained some of the property according to
(a) legal requirements
(b) his moral code
(c) keeping up with the other
lords
 
The tenant maintained some of the property according to
(a) wanting water to flow into
the kitchen
(b) his moral code
(c) preferring a roof that
doesn’t leak onto the furniture
 
One day after six years of living on the property, the tenant thought of buying the property and the lord agreed to receive an offer. Upon receiving the offer, the lord said
(a) “I deserve a 50 percent
profit, and not a penny less.”
(b) nothing, just sniffed
(c) “vraiment tu jeste!”
 
and promptly evicted the tenant without a further word. The tenant packed up and went
(a) somewhere
(b) who cares
(c) wherever those kind of
people go
 
and the lord eventually sold the rental for what the tenant would have paid, had the lord been willing to talk rather than be such an (unprintable, never mind). When asked why the lord behaved in such a way, the lord replied
(a) “Because I can.”
(b) “Do you know the penalty
for questioning tradition?”
(c) “It’s just business.”